I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
