i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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