we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
did i just pee glitter
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