i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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