ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
