I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
