so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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