gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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