Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize