So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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