I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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