Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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