just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
