I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
