I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
