I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
