A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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