You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
