my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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