You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
