Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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