You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
