Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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