Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
