i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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