What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
