Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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