We're facebook friends in real life
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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