What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't deserve a penis
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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