Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
