last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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