I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
