Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
