whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
