It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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