He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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