OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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