Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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