Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
