I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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