i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
