I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
