I'm lost and stupid without you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
