9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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