oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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