Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Bring me that man meat
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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