every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
