so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
that is very illegal...i love you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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