im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
