Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize