i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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