You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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