Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
