I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize