the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
PANTIES FOUND
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