Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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